Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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