He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
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We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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