we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
