So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
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Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
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How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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