Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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