I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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