Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
