i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
