last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Someone came in the potted fern
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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