i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
