I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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