He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
