wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
