I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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