Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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