oh god the rape fog is back!
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
