i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
