she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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