I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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