so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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