We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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