btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
