he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
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