I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
