first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
