I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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