yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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