So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
