I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize