WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
