i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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