Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
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Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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