when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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