we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
