I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
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right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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