I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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