And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
