Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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