I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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