just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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