god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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