I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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