All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I love you. Go after that dick
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
