a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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