Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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