So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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