Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
