Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
