i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
