end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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