I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
