you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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