Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
