goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
