I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
