can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm too high and old for this...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
