All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
