why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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