I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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